


Sleepover Shenanigans

by Colbysheep



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hide and Seek, Illustrations, Poor John, Sleepovers, phone tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-05
Updated: 2015-03-05
Packaged: 2018-03-16 12:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3488489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colbysheep/pseuds/Colbysheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the betas are normal and happy and have a sleepover it's all very pleasant ... maybe for some more than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepover Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything like this in so long, I probably shouldn't either. Whatever, enjoy!

"Hi, my name is John Ebert and I'm a total dork and wear suspenders," Dave mimicked in a dramatic and nasally tone, earning giggles from Jade and a despairing whine from John himself. The four teens were situated around a small kotatsu that belonged to Bro, and while Dave had insisted otherwise he was unironically enjoying the closeness as all their legs tangled together in the middle. 

"Well - uh- I’m Dave Strider and I’m afraid of the ocean and have really hairy legs!” 

“Bruh, I do not have hairy legs, my legs are smoother than an oil slick, practically a slip-n-slide on these bitches.” Dave made a dismissive gesture at John whose eyebrows knitted together for a second. He was pretty sure he had been feeling something bristly in their leg pile and had assumed. John reached a hand under the table while keeping his eyes locked on Dave until his hand squeezed said bristly leg. 

“That’s me you dummy.” Jade giggled and kicked her leg at John to prove a point. He wasn’t all that shocked, Jade was never overly concerned with shaving during the winter, but he was surprised that Dave seemed to be. 

“Oh. Sorry, Jade.” John pushed his glasses up, somewhat embarrassed, before looking at the quietest member of their group. Rose sat to John’s left and was quite busy with her phone, looking down at her lap with her blonde bob obscuring her face. She was so entranced with the device she hadn’t even made a clever remark for at least 10 minutes now. 

“Rose?… Rose!” The blonde flinched and looked up at John who was leaning towards her on one elbow and waving a hand in front of her. “You were reading again, weren’t you!” He accused before shaking his head and whining “nooo” as he held his hand out. “Bonding. Time. I never get to see you guys, can we just hang out without phones for once… please?” It was true that since they had finished middle school it had been more difficult to spend time together. Even though Bro and Rose’s Mom were separated, Rose and Dave did stay at the opposite house on alternating weekends, but outside of that Rose attended an elite private school the next town over. Jade was homeschooled by her grandpa or hired tutors, and volunteered often. Dave and John did attend the same school but took very different classes, and while John stayed quite busy with clubs, Dave worked at a part-time job. Despite these inconveniences, they remained in contact almost consistently and made a point to hang out with each other at least once a month. With a small, understanding smile, Rose handed John her cell phone while Dave and Jade pushed theirs to the side of the table. 

Rose tucked her light blonde hair back behind her ear, “Well, other than your poor impersonations, what do you suggest we do?” 

Jade perked up as an idea came to her. “Well, we could do a challenge since we shouldn’t use our phones. We can stack them up in the middle of the table, and the first one to pick their phone up has to do something for the last one to touch their phone?” Her green eyes swept over her friend’s faces, waiting for approval, which came in order of a shrug, a nod, and a ‘sounds fun’. Smiling, the tanned girl gathered all the phones and stacked them in the center of the table. Jade leaned back and popped her fingers. “In the meantime, we can play some sort of game.” She suggested as she readjusted herself in her seat. 

“I have some cards from my trick bag! I think I left it in the kitchen.” John glanced at the door leading the hallway and bit his lip. When Rose came over to stay at the Striders they made half an effort to not leave pitfalls and sharp objects laying around everywhere, but John was still uneasy. 

Before John could stand up, Dave tapped on the table and practically jumped up, “I’ll go get the dork purse, don’t want Egderp here impaling himself on another sword.”   
“That was once and it was only a scratch!” John argued as Dave placed a hand on John’s shoulder and knelt beside him with a grand gesture. “I’ve nearly lost you once to the dangerous terrain that is the Strider abode, I couldn’t bear it if you were to acquire another injury on my watch, fair princess,”yes Dave took John’s hand and clasped it in both of his hands to his chest. From this angle, John could faintly see Dave’s eyes fluttering through his glasses. John huffed and elbowed the blond in the ribs with a mildly flustered “shove it”. 

As soon as Dave sauntered away with a salute, John quickly stood up and gestured at Rose and Jade vigorously. “Shh. Stand up and switch seats before he comes back.” The girls gave each other a sideways glance but exchanged seats so John now sat closest to the door as opposed to the right, and then Jade to his left and Rose to the right so the order was completely backwards.

When the slender blond stepped back into the room he paused and gave a hard look at the table before cautiously claiming the open spot of the table. “Did you-”

“Nope,” John cut off while reaching over the table to take the cards from Dave “Now what game should we play?” 

“Anything but bullshit,” Dave pointed accusingly at his sister “She always just knows it’s not fair,” he insisted. It was true though, Rose could always see through them no matter how hard they’d try to lie, even Dave’s world-class poker face wasn’t enough to ward off Rose. John and Jade didn’t stand a chance. 

“Well, since you don’t seem all that confident in your skill how about a game of luck?” 

_

They had been playing cards for maybe an hour before the first phone buzzed.

Suddenly four sets of eyes were glued to the tower of phones. After a long moment, the teens glanced up to meet another's eyes in turn. The air was tense and no one dared to move, even Jade who was in the middle of her move was a rock.

“I’m not answering that, I’m not losing this,” John announced but still drew his lower lip in to bite it, trying to keep his itching hands in his lap. He could feel his pulse in his ears just as Dave’s lips turned up into a smirk

“What if it’s Dadbert? He could be worried about his precious boy?” he goaded John with a deep raspy voice obviously trying to imitate Mr. Egbert “John? Where are you? I baked you a metric shit ton of cakes to share with that dashing Strider Boy.” At this John snorted and rolled his eyes before responding and shoving Dave with his foot.

“In that case I definitely don’t want to answer.” 

Rose regarded Dave with cheekiness “What if it’s Bro? You know he did go out to pick up dinner- no telling what kind of trouble he could have gotten into.” It was Dave’s turn to pale. 

The blond’s heel dug into John’s leg idly as he choked out “It’ll be fine.” When the phone finally stopped buzzing the quadlet out a collective breath and return to their card game for the next twenty minutes. 

“I Win!” Jade’s booming voice caused John and Rose to jump, “I get to pick the next game.” Jade smiled as she stretched out her muscles, tense from sitting rather cramped for the last couple of hours. Rose followed suit, standing and straightening her harry potter pjs. Dave slumped forward on the table, careful to avoid the phones as John fell onto his back and stared at the ceiling. 

Jade walks over knocked her hip into Rose’s and slung an arm around the shorter blonde with a hum of thoughtfulness.

“Okay well, it’s been a while since we were at your house, Dave - what do you suggest?” Dave rubbed a hand under his glasses with a “Mmph” before glancing at the clock. “I’m not sure this entire place is a goddamn death trap-” Strider was cut off by his yawn. John pulled himself up from the floor with a groan, “Okay well, Hide and Seek?” 

A once again quiet fell over them. It was probably the most ill-advised thing that could occur. It was also the Strider household, there was probably more square footage of added hidden areas then the basic floor plan itself. John expected Dave or Rose to object, but the twins met each others eyes.

“Not it!”

“Not it!” 

The two blonds proceeded to elbow their ways out the room in search of prime hiding spot. John followed suit with a quick “Not it!” before Jade could object.

“You get one minute!” The dark haired teen yelled after him. 

John tore off the hall, avidly avoiding the kitchen, no way was he going in there again without a full backup. Or at least one suitable Strilonde who could tell him which cabinet bro had stashed the weapons in this time. He tried to keep quiet as he checked the doors he passed. 

On the second to the last door he found what he was looking for. It was the game/theater/turntables room that Bro had set up to mostly to house the growing collection of electronic junk he and Dave kept dragging home. Much like Dave’s room it had wires trailing along the floor in a tangled mess. Controllers and game cases were littered everywhere. The main screen was off so John had to use his memory and groping skills to find his way to the back of the room. 

Right here was a indentation in the wall about three feet back and in front was a shelf of DVDs. John quietly pulled the stand out from the wall and slipped into the crevice before pulling the shelf back into its previous spot. It didn’t have the best coverage, but it was easy to find and he was pretty sure Jade didn’t know about it. 

John hoped that the DVDs would hide him and sat down at the very back of the crevice.   
John heard a soft ‘ooph’ about the same time he realized that his ass was not on the solid carpet floor but definitely on something lumpier that felt suspiciously like a lap. 

“John, I knew you wanted to be along with me but I didn’t think you’d jump into my arms like this.” A breathy voice answered into John’s ear. While the hole was a few feet deep, it was only about 2 and a half feet wide. John tried to elbow Dave again, but being all arms and legs had it’s advantages in keeping John’s arms caged to his sides. “Shhh. You’ll give up our hiding spot.”   
“Our? John you haven’t even asked for my hand in marriage yet you're already trying to share a claim to my loot? I knew you only wanted me for my stuff!”  
“Dave!” John whispered gruffly. The scolding didn’t take much effect as Dave shifted under him and continued to prattle on. 

“Honestly Egbert,” John could feel Dave’s breath on his neck as he spoke and for some reason this feeling set off a series of chill bumps. That’s weird. “-aid something earlier I would have pulled some strings-” 

Then there was light. It beamed from between the DVD’s in front of them but the angle kept them in the darkness.   
“John? Rose?” Jade called out to the room as she searched. 

“Oh, look Harl-” John pushed himself back further into Dave’s chest, forcefully pressing the back of his neck against Dave’s mouth in an attempt to get him to shut up. 

Jade had started to check around and under the tables in the room and was moving this way. 

 

 

It was going well, John had successfully gotten Strider to be quiet and Jade had passed the DVDs without noticing them or even bothering to check. Unfortunately, Dave didn’t seem to appreciate losing the ability to speak. John tried to ignore him at first. Dave tried to pull away enough to complain, but the wall didn’t allow for much movement without the ability to pass through them. 

John intended to keep him trapped in this position, despite ticklish feeling of air on his neck or the particular sensation that resulted from having his best friend’s lips pressed against his neck. At this point, it became less about not being found to more about not being found in this position. Yeah, that’s it, had nothing to do with the surprisingly pleasant tingling. No, he didn’t even flinch too hard with he felt those lips start to move, then gently suck a mark. 

Jade had just flicked the lights back off and was only a few feet from the door. John had no doubts that Dave could also see the looming success and had decided to swipe all of John’s prankster gambit because it was at this moment that Dave bit John, just hard enough for John to jerk forward with a muffled “shit.” 

The lights were flicked back on instantly. 

It was all too quiet, Dave had followed John up into a move upright, still having his arms wrapped tight around the brunette situated in his lap. John heard Jade take an uncertain step closer when Dave smiled against his neck. Suddenly there was a loud and guttural moan. 

John’s eyes flew open wide but other then that he was frozen in shock. The sound was so provocative that the poor boy couldn’t help the flush of color to his cheeks. When he regained his senses he gawked at Dave who was shaking with quiet laughter. 

Before John could say anything though Jade pulled away the DVD shelf that had shielded them. 

“Sorry? Am I interrupting something?” Jade asked smugly. 

It a minute a for John and Dave to untangle themselves and crawl out of the hidespace and Jade cackled the entire time. John was quick to put distance between him and the insufferable prick he now addressed as The Betrayer. 

“Look, Jade. That - nothing happened, really. It was totally innocent! It’s not what you think it is!” John tried to defend himself, but Jade only raised a skeptical eyebrow. 

“Sure~” Jade looked like she was about to say something else but a loud sneeze next door caught her attention. “Excuse me, looks like I have one more person to hunt down!” Jade skipped out of the room after her next target leaving John and Dave alone in media room. 

John ran a hand over the back of his neck poking at the now tender spot high above his collar. “I’ve got to say,” Dave admitted, “You have more steel than I expected. I honestly thought you were going to run for it proclaiming your straightness or whatever.” John glared at the Betrayers back as the blond idle motioned with his hands. 

“Dave. That was a dirty trick and you know it.” John’s azure gaze lost its fire was replaced with something eerily calm. “But you underestimate me.” 

Dave paused. The blond turned around just in time to see a flash of gray sweats tear out of the room. 

John ran down the central hallway into the room they had been occupying earlier and targeted the pile of phones. With a hungry smile, the teen snatched the top phone from the pile and spun back around on his heel. Dave stood in the doorway and, even though, his glasses hid his eyes, John could see the confusion written on his face. 

“You lost?” 

“No, but you’re about to” John held up his hand. A distinctive red case was held firmly in his grasp. Without warning John bellowed out “YOU CAN’T TOUCH YOUR PHONE AT ALL, RIGHT JADE?”  
“That’s right!” another yell answered from down the hall and John’s smile was uncharacteristically feral.

“Dude. Just like-” Dave flash stepped past John when the he lunged at him. “Oh, it’s on!” Dave swooped down to pluck up a dark blue phone. Both boys held the phones like weapons and stared each other down. 

 

 

Dave was impressively agile has he ducked and dodged John’s jabbing, his height advantage giving him a few inches in range. John on the other hand was strong and rather cunning and managed to push Dave around the room, but neither of them managed to tag the other. 

Dave would make a strike forward then flash step out of the way before John could reach him. Watching where they were going John started aiming far right and left of Dave, forcing the slender teen to hop backward instead of sidestepping in a circle. 

John was pushing Dave back towards the front of the room, hoping to corner him and land a lucky hit when all of a sudden everything started moving slower. Dave’s leg had caught the kotatsu and caused him to trip but not without catching his other foot behind John’s ankle. As Dave went down ass first into the floor, John fell face first on the hard wooden table itself. 

Then over it. 

Then sliding off the corner of the table with a thud.

John lay still on the floor trying to recapture the breath that had been knocked out of him. “John?”

Rose and Jade rushed back into the room moments later as Dave crawled over to John. Dave grabbed John’s shoulder and continued to gently shake him. 

John peeled his eyes open and squinted at Dave hovering above him. “John are you alright? Does it hurt?” Dave prodded at John’s chest. Suddenly John swung his arm up at Dave. Cold dull metal was pressing against the blond’s stomach, his phone. 

“A little less now.” John snarked out before erupting in laughter that cut off almost as quick as it begun. 

Dave looked down at his cell phone, now lying limply in his lap and John who had sat up and was holding his ribs but smiling like a goon. Without breaking his gaze away, Dave reached behind him, grabbed up John’s phone and shoved it at Egbert’s shoulder. 

“You. fucking. asshole.”

Rose and Jade now knelt around the boys not as concerned now as they had been a minute ago. 

“I would ask but I don’t think either of you could give me a good reason as to why you ended up in this position.” Rose stood up and offered a pale hand to John who took it. Although he stood without much incident she noticed the wince he made as he touched his side. 

“Let’s go back to the theater and maybe not obtain any more injuries today?”

“Yeah, I think that would be a good idea.” John smiled held onto her hand as they headed towards the media center. 

Jade and Dave had grabbed all the pillows and blankets off of Rose and Dave’s beds respectively and within 10 minutes set up a font in front of the big screen. Dave had cleaned a spot away and Rose had made hot chocolate as John set up the movie, of Jade’s choice, and Jade built the fort. 

After everyone was settled did John allow Jade to pull up his shirt and check the long red mark that stretched down his side. 

“It’s not that bad” Jade deducted 

“I told you it wasn’t, geez.”

“Oh my heart, it can rest easy now knowing that my 2nd true love will survive.” Dave flopped dramatically across rose’s lap and into John’s

“Second?” John questioned 

“AJ man. AJ is always first.” 

Rose had also inspected John briefly before pressing frozen fingers on John’s neck, “What’s this bruising? I didn’t think you hit his high up.”

“Oh sorry, that would be my handy work,” Dave claimed with such total nonchalance that John just heaved a resigned sigh and focused back on the move. 

“Oh. Well, you got your wish, John, bonding.” Rose smiled a little and settled into the pile of pillows with her friends. 

“Yeah. I guess so.” The blue-eyed boy couldn't help but smile too.   
___

“Dave? I called you earlier, wanted to know what you think my color is, I got both-” Bro walked through the house searching the rooms for the kids. He found the four teens tangled together in a mess of limbs and hair. Each one somehow in contact with the other three. Legs thrown over one and arms holding another it was starting to look like a complex game of tetris.

Just look at those adorable little shits. 

Bro smiled and plucked three pairs of glasses off of their heads and set them on the nearby coffee table. Then a minute later he settles a bright yellow smuppet right under Dave’s arm so he’ll know he was checked on. With a final glance and a smile, Bro left the slumbering quad to rest. 

___________________________  
FIN


End file.
